![]() The Enneagram consists of nine different personality types, each with entirely different ways of communicating, expressing themselves and seeing the world. This can then help the two of you know whether to remain in the relationship or breakup. Once you and your partner have your standards, the two of you can look at how you both are behaving to determine whether the relationship meets these standards and your needs are being met. When we are aware of both our individual needs and the needs of our partners, we are able to practice compassion towards ourselves and each other- enabling us to set clear standards for what each person wants and expects in a romantic relationship. The Enneagram is a powerful tool that allows us to not only better understand ourselves, but provide more insight into the true feelings of the people around us too - enabling a deep level of empathy and tolerance in our romantic lives. Oftentimes when others exhibit patterns of behaviour that we do not understand, our initial reactions are those of frustration and even anger. In light of these differences, it is important that we develop a strong understanding of the different ways that other personalities view and interact with the world. The love language that a person corresponds with most determines their entire outlook on romance, shaping the manner in which they show, and want to be shown, affection. ![]() This pragmatic approach to romance argues that different personalities give and receive love in very different ways, either through words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time or physical touch. Just because you have a certain set of expectations does not mean your partner has the same ones: a phenomenon that is well illustrated with the notion of 'Love Languages'. Part of practicing compassion is recognising that perspectives and needs vary vastly between different people. A combination of consideration, empathy, kindness and concern it is a crucial building block for a healthy relationship. Although it is a term that is thrown around a lot, causing the more cynical people in a room to roll their eyes and scoff, it is an immensely powerful tool to gain a deeper understanding of the perspectives and wishes of others. However, the solution might lie in simply practicing compassion. While this sounds great in theory, it can be often challenging to implement in practice: determining your own needs is difficult, never mind the needs of others too. Assessing the wants and desires of both yourself and your partner is vital for a healthy relationship. It is too easy to fall into the trap of focusing on caring for your partner at the expense of ignoring your own needs - a pattern that only ever leads to resentment and ruin. Research indicates that individuals make decisions on whether to stay or leave a relationship based on the perceived fulfilment of their needs. There can be so much uncertainty in love - how can we know the 'right' answers to these tough questions? ![]() Relationship is currently good, does that mean I should take it to the next level? What does that even look like and what is importantįor our romantic relationship to thrive?" "How should I choose a partner? Should I choose someone exciting, or someone who balances andĬalms me?", "Why is it that I'm feeling unhappy in my current romantic relationship? What changes should I make?" or "If my romantic Attempting to think in aĬalm and rational manner becomes a near impossible task when we are overwhelmed by strong feelings of emotion. Perhaps the most difficult decisions to make in life are those concerning our romantic relationships.
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